Engage. Inspire. Create.
Today after work, I briefly stopped at my Art studio to prep my newest idea. It felt amazing. Considering the current stressors in my life the gift of being a Creative is a godsend. No matter what comes, I am determined to pass safely through to the other side with my joy and peace intact.
This piece speaks volumes…….in this raw state. I am looking forward to the development of thought.
It has been an amazing journey to manifest The View. In my reflections today, I came to the aha moment to the final added components of the piece.
When this piece was first primed, l looked at the canvas and saw birds…very distinctly. However, I decided not to focus on the birds and kept painting without acknowledging the birds. The message of my Ancestor who took her final look at her homeland before being catapulted into the atrocities of the Atlantic Slave trade speaks volumes.
The bird totem speaks to the freedom and strength of mind of my oppressed Ancestors. The song that came to mind was the old Negro Spiritual “ I’ll Fly Away” which speaks to ascending away from the pain of body and soul to a Heavenly home where there would be no sorrow or separation from those you loved so dearly.
The final unique component of this piece is the tribal mark on her neck which denotes this woman, this ancestor of mines, she was from a noble people.
I have been a working Artist officially since 2015 at the launch of my small business and it has been a tough journey. I have shown my work throughout the Puget Sound and met amazing people touched by my work. My heart is full when I remember the results of my labor.
Unfortunately, the joy of creating and the impact my work has made within my community has rarely been monetarily compensated. This fact has made it difficult to fund my work through the years.
It is a struggle to express the importance of my work as an Artist to those closest to me. The years I’ve invested in my craft are life changing and I have grown as a person through the varied obstacles and challenges faced. Although I have yet to be financial successful in my craft, to create art is like breathing so to stop is absurd.
To those fellow Artist establishing your niche in the world and in hope of your big break…I say Bravo to being what we call in Statistics the Outlier.
I may be one in thousands but my light shines so bright anyone can see.
Upward and onward….and like my former advisor told me once as a budding Psych student at Tacoma Community College, “ upward mobility”.
In this life we can be bogged down with the negative goings on in society to the extent paralysis overtakes us. Meaning we absorb the negative energy and become depressed which creates stagnation.
What I have learned is we must change our frequency….Especially us empaths. To understand another persons plight and care enough to do only what is within your means to elevate the person is commendable . However we must never internalize other peoples negative choices or experiences. Be a problem solver. Be a solution giver.
Self loathing is always counter productive. Our lives matter and so do our neighbors. So for sure we are stronger together.
If your spirit is bogged down change your frequency. Refocus. Recalibrate.
Nature is a great place for this to happen.
We have been given all we need in this life for our success. Doubt and self defeat are illusions of the mind…change your frequency.
Today I contemplated the magnificent power that is women. My view of myself during my single life was bittersweet. I spent most my entire life trying to prove my value. I volunteered thousands of hours in my community and even though my resume is excellent people doubt my value or language that describes my own self.
Why is it easy for some to assume fault in someone without personal knowledge of the person.
I have experienced rejection for so long that the need for outside validation is never a pillar for stability of mind. I have been maligned, crucified, publicly humiliated, and betrayed time and time again. My values compel me to forgive, let go, and strive ahead.
I started motherhood in my late thirties which is consider “old” or “high risk”. All the same I carried both my two pregnancies successfully and delivered two beautiful boys for my husband.
The mere process of pregnancy is amazing.
What a woman can do man cannot.
Read it again.
We truly are fearfully and wonderfully made. Just imagine the breast milk our bodies produces to empower our small babies growth and development.
Back to my original thought…there was a point I couldn’t see my value as a female child growing up. I thought it was a curse to be female due to abuse of authority from toxic masculinity. So I strived for perfection which is grasping for straws in sand.
My value as a woman can be quantified in what Christ is to his followers eat and drink. A woman is sustenance to her unborn child, after she gives birth her body remains a place of refuge and sustenance for her growing baby. A woman is also a refuge and sacred space for her husband, her life’s companion, she brings life.
A woman truly presents herself a living sacrifice daily for those she loves in mind, body, and soul. We do this 24/7….365….rain or shine….sickness or health. We give up ourselves and put those we love first always.
What a woman can do man cannot.
In 2009, I was afforded the opportunity to study abroad in Ghana West Africa. It was my senior year at the Evergreen State College Tacoma. I was invited by a Director of a private children’s home in Ghana. She asked me to create curriculum for her students. The subjects she wanted them to learn were Art, Music, and Leadership Development. Being a student at TESCT allowed me to create my own course with faculty sponsor. The name of my course was Cultural Studies and Curriculum Development.
Being an Artist, Musician, and Leader within my community made the task to create curriculum on Art, Music, and Leadership a breeze. My students, k-8, were amazing and it was a joy teaching all of them. During my off time is when I would explore the local area, market, and learn about the foods.
I would frequent a small Internet cafe in the nearby village. It was owned and operated by a young Ghanaian orphan. He gifted me my first lesson book to learn the local language of Twi. Anytime I stopped by the cafe to check my emails he would quiz me on my skills.
These memories were stirred up recently during my studio time. I started to paint with the color black, added white, and used a lot of water this time around. The process gave the piece a water color feel and look. The development of the piece has been very contemplative over several weeks. I have named the piece “The View”.
Part of my artistic expression is to take photos of my process and the various stages of my work. Later I observe and make creative decision on next steps. “The View” was created horizontally and one day I just decided to turn the piece vertically. What manifest was a beautiful woman deeply in gaze at the distant shore. Immediately my mind remembered my Ancestors, the stolen ones, from the shores of West Africa. I thought about the castles during my cultural studies tours and the tears that poured down my face while a strong wind from the Atlantic kissed my cheeks.
Is it really hard for some people to speak the truth? If so… why is that. I mean think about it would you want to be lied to. There is a saying that “ignorance is bliss” is that true or is ignorance just plain ignorance. Sometime people actually believe the best out of every situation and that all people are good until proven otherwise. Beside there is always two side to a story so giving someone the benefit of the doubt is natural at least to me. At times I wonder whether this is healthy since betrayal has been a long time friend along with envy, hate, etc….just curious what you think on this topic of being totally honest.
In contemplating this tedious process of dating and seeking companionship. The beauty of loving and being loved also comes with the risk of heartache. The heartache is not just those of us who have experienced divorce but also the disappointment of investing time and energy in these friendship that fizzle out for various reason and bring us back to square one. What I have realized is my passion and desire for companionship and having a fruitful relationship with children is a gift from God. However the most important thing is that God become bigger than my desires and passion…why…nothing in this world can satisfy the longing soul. For those of us seeking companionship we will not find a perfect individual but a son/daughter of the Most High God who is on the Potters wheel being transformed from glory to glory. So my question to you is what are you looking for? God said ask it shall be given seek and we shall find knock and the door will be opened. We must be honest with ourselves about what our needs truly are and in praying and fasting making our request made known unto God. He loves us and wants the best for us so give your heart to him first before you try and find a companion to set your heart upon. If we seek first God’s kingdom and righteousness all things will be added to us may the Lord help our unbelief and let us be honest and all players delivered. God loves us but our righteousness is filthy rags. Remember every good and perfect gift comes from above…so be encouraged.
The arrogance of the wealthy is to speak disdainfully of all their blessings in the presence of the poor while living in excessive waste simultaneously. FYI: It is not my life calling to affirm your ego to pacify your conscious burning with lack of purpose.
-lsthurman- 2013
Jesus said the wealthy man has friends plenty…but when that wealth is gone so are his friends.
When you pick fruit from an apple tree do not be surprised if it is not an orange.
-lsthurman-
SABREEHNA S. ESSIEN 